Hopeful

So today was my uncles funeral. I was very sad when I woke up and during the service could not stop crying however as soon as it was over I felt fine. It's like I got closure on the whole thing and could just get on with normal life. I almost feel guilty for not being upset any more like so many of my relatives but I just don't. I've started to see things objectively and I'm now concentrating on what I can learn from his early death. You see my uncle was obese, morbidly obese I reckon, and his life was massively affected by this. He had to have heart bi-passes and he suffered with diabetes. He died because his heart just lost the battle or perhaps gave up as it was clearly fighting a battle it knew it couldn't win. My uncle did nothing for his health, you'd think diabetes would be enough of a warning to change your ways but not for him, he continued eating and drinking all the crap artery clogging stuff because he enjoyed his lifestyle. He was very sociable and enjoyed drinking with his friends and he simply did not want to give this life up even though he was literally killing himself.

This will not happen to me.
I love food, I binge on it for gods sake but it wont kill me.
I wont let it.
This is the wake up call I have needed for a very long time.

I'm starting my life over tomorrow. I'm going to get up at a decent time not lay in bed till noon. I'm going to regularly partake in some form of exercise and not be a lazy pig any more. I'm going to stop pissing around with all the BAD food like chocolate, crisps (chips to my american friends) and greasy take-aways and substitute healthy foods like fruit, veg and fresh meat. I'm quite literally going to flip everything on its head because every aspect of my life can do with some improvement. If I feel myself slipping back to old habits I will remind myself of my uncle, go visit his grave, remember his eating habits and where they got him. I cant piss about any more. The time is now. I don't want to be six feet under at an early age because food got the better of me, NO WAY. Its time to grow up, stop acting like a child and sort my life out!

Wow, I know many of you have probably read this kind of thing over and over and its never come to anything, heavens I've even pledged this sort of thing before. However, something's different this time. Normally when I say this kind of thing I don't actually believe it myself, I know its just words, but this time I actually mean it. I want to like myself and this is the way to achieve that. Today I have lived the life of somebody who lived the life I now live (that was a mouthful!). I've seen the consequence of my actions. Continuing down this road could potentially mean I'm halfway through my life. No way. I wont let that happen.

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