I've come to realise in the last few days that I can literally say whatever I want on here no matter how messed up and all I get back is a truck load of support. Thank you. In my real life nobody really knows me because I wont tell them. I wont let anyone close enough to figure out how nuts I am yet when I post on here I have no fear about your reactions, it really is a place of support, like a close nit community. I already class many of you as friends and I know exactly where I'm going to turn when I hit my next crisis!!
Today has been pants but to be quite honest I've felt so flat and down today I genuinely don't care. My mam wants me to go to the doctor so they can look at my bi-polar tendencies and perhaps diagnose me. I've only been depressed about 12 years, no biggy. I don't see the point, even if I'm diagnosed bi-polar I won't accept any meds. I've been on two different anti-depressants over the years and neither of them helped in the long term. Just got to live each day best you can and cope anyway you can. Pills cant cure everything.
My moods lifted anyway because tomorrow I get to go see my favourite sister. She lives about an hour away so I don't visit often. I love her. She's the sane person in my life that can just rationalise any drama into nonsense. I love her for that. Plus she's gorgeous and has a lovely figure and I just love to be around her. Unfortunately, about ten minutes away from where I live is my other sister and she's a total bitch! I actually cannot stand her. She's a mean, two faced, jealous arse!! Why can't they switch houses, I know my life would be a lot easier if my lovely sister was around the corner and my bitchy one was so far away I couldn't care less about her. Such is life hey?!
Love you guys xxxx
I've just started following your blog. The community here is so amazning and supportive. I really feel lucky to know these girls.
ReplyDeleteI might be starting a course of anti-depressants again. I've been on and off them since I was 13/14. I think that my depression is worse now than what it was then. It might be an idea to go and see what the doctor says. Maybe therapy might help. whatever you decide to do I wish you all the best. Depression is hard abs all you can do is take it one day at a time.
And yet for awesome sisters! Haha.
xx
You're right, pills can't cure it. It takes time, and that time is not used for making it go away. It's just for learning how to cope with it every day. 'Cause it'll always be somewhere isnide you, no matter how cured your doctor pronounces you. And you'll always have the memories from when it was real bad. They don't know shit girl.
ReplyDeleteJust stay strong, and have a lovely time with your lovely sister :)
- Bella <3
You're definitely right; pills can't cure everything but they can help some of your symptoms to give yourself a chance to cope in a better way. There's so many different medications out there and it can be a very lengthy process finding one that works for you personally. I don't blame you for not wanting meds though cause I am the same and I got fed up with people shoving pills at me left right and centre.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you feel supported here and remember that here you can always be honest, I know I'll always be listening and trying to help in any way I can my dear.
Your nice sister sounds lovely, I'm glad you have her. I can symapthise with having a sibling you hate live so close to, it seriously sucks.
Take care my dear.
Much love. <3